On Sunday afternoon Jasmine, Troy, Timmy and I sat down to study and pray together. They're working through a series by Max Lucado. Part of Sunday's lesson was about leaving it all at the cross-- grudges, frustrations, bad habits, pride, laziness, fear, and anything else that stands between us and the life God calls us to. As we each contemplated the things in our own life that needed to be left at Calvary, my heart turned towards my interactions with the people of Zambia.
There is so much about this culture that is both heartbreaking and bewildering. For instance, the nannies don't really play with the children. I suppose it's a byproduct of living in a place where mere survival takes precedence. But then, I think these wonderful ladies are also just tired, and who am I to say that my way is right or theirs lacking? I can see the love these women have for the kids in their care. The nannies here are like family to the kids; they spend more time with them than anyone else. I am so privileged to be welcomed into their little unconventional family. Another culture-confusion example: at any given time of day, one can see mothers walking by on the dirt road in front of the orphanage with their babies and toddlers strapped to their back. The babies are generally wearing way too much clothing (sweatshirts and winter hats) and are drenched in sweat, making dehydration that much more likely, especially if the child were to fall ill. Again, it's apparently a cultural thing, but it's really concerning to me. Babies are carried everwhere and may therefore be delayed in learning to walk, but then what choice do these mother's have? No cushy daycares here. The people here are strong; they are survivors. It is easy to say that they have much to learn, but oh, I believe that they have so much to teach. I do not wish to approach them in judgment; may God forgive me for the times that I have.
Anyway, back to Sunday...
I feel a great burden not only for the kids that I chase around all day but also for the staff members that I work with throughout the day here at Kazembe Orphanage. It is so very difficult to strike a balance between "shrewd as serpents and gentle as doves." I want to leave my fruatrations and judgments at the cross. It is so easy to forget that my way may not be the "right" way. I want to teach and lead firmly but without demeaning, and more importantly, I want to be willing to be led. Because I don't know what it is to lose a child to Malaria, or to carry water from a well every day, or not be able to afford education for my kids. I want to interact with patience and compassion, and most of all with humility. I have a really hard time keeping the names of the nannies straight since they change out daily and I really work mostly with the kindergarteners, but my jr. high Sunday school teacher once told me that we leave an impact on everyone that we meet. I want to be the reflection of Christ for these women to the best of my ability.
Some of them I have really grown to care about. I love the kitchen staff. They both do a really good job (as far as I can tell anyway). I've spent a little time with both of them learning about their families and their lives. One of the nannies that works with the babies is especially sweet. She obviously really cares about the kids. I often see her interacting with them or cleaning up messes that really weren't her responsibility to take care of. If I do need to explain something to her, she listens attentively, asks questions, and seems to do her best to do whatever needs to be done.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with all of these musings, but this thought process has been weighing on my heart for a few days now. The more I learn and experience here a Kazembe, the more thankful I am that God sent me here and the more compassion and desire to serve and help I feel for these people. Every "negative" or "frustrating" interaction only makes me love them more, and more often than not, I find that the one whose attitude needs adjusting is me. May God grant me the grace to communicate His love with patience and clarity.
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